It’s not really fun for me to think of chronic migraines and stigma over the decades I have had. I have had a huge impact on life with migraine diseases, which has made it extremely difficult because of the stigma I faced when trying to cope with them. It is not just our disease that we have to deal with. Our failure to understand our disease must be addressed by others.
Chronic migraines are not so severe
This is the worst stigma to confront and it is a thing of the past. When someone has never had a headache, they think it’s bad. And they don’t even think every day, like I, would be all of this series. Because I’ve been working, I’ve had my façade on… may not be so bad.
But sometimes even doctors could not understand the torture chronic migraine attacks every day. I meant it when I said that I had difficulties coping and working with them. I didn’t think I could concentrate well and made a lot of mistakes. I meant that I wasn’t able to think just or remember right things. I meant I was barely getting through emotionally and mentally. I didn’t mean I was slightly stressed and needed a bit of self-care. No, I meant I was burning inches and the suicidal idea was a par. But doctors do not understand how much pain I have been, regardless of what I have said or how I have told it, it’s quite normal. They seem to reduce pain at all times. That’s what’s so bloody and depressing, because they only expect you to deal with, no matter what you do and nothing ever changes or has an effect. And you can’t finally.
You make a mistake.
This idea is common among people who cannot be so often migraine attacks. No, no, chronic migraine disease is present. It’s therefore impossible for me to get them so often. And they didn’t seem to know Google’s power. However, if you believe you have them, often they often imply that it’s your fault—something you shouldn’t, something you shouldn’t do.
You’re faking it, because I can’t function when I have a migraine.
In this version, a person suffers from migraines on a regular basis. And they are unable to function with them. They are laid out for hours in a dark room. So, obviously, if I’m working, I don’t have migraines. You were duped! Chronic pain, it turns out, does not follow those rules. When you have chronic pain, society expects you to hide it, work, and pretend to function normally. Even though that is impossible, that is what the expectation is. So, yeah, I was constantly working with them. It’s not something I’d recommend. By no means is it a fun ride. And your ability to function is severely impaired in a variety of neurological ways, but that is just the way it is.
You just want to get away from work.
This is a form of the ‘you’re lazy stigma,’ implying that I simply wanted a day off or to be excused from work, or that I didn’t want to work like a slacker. I was a driven individual with serious career ambitions. But life doesn’t always work the way you want it to, and you can’t make pain behave. I didn’t care so much about how I was perceived as I did about not living up to My standards when it came to this one. I despised being absent from work. I despised the fact that I couldn’t achieve my goals.
Maintaining the façade
When I was working, I made a concerted effort to conceal my pain. It was a constant struggle to function in the midst of the pain. It took a lot of effort to think through the pain. It was extremely exhausting. It takes a huge emotional and mental toll, but there is never a pain break. Medication had no effect on me. My migraines occurred on a daily basis. They were intense, most likely because I was working through them and was sleep deprived. You don’t get any downtime to relax and take a break from the pain. Never, ever.
Buy At hiding it, I was masterful. Brush it with a joke and a laugh. You don’t have to show suffering because you have to serve your customers. I’m positive the invisibility contributes. Because I had to stay at home and missed work in the days, nobody saw how sick I was, just the days when I could keep the facade. It is an irony that society demands that we perfect this façade as it requires that we function with such pain and that makes us essentially so invisible that we don’t have to suffer anymore. Naturally, not so easily fooled are people who know us well. But there are a great many people.
Internalized stigmatization
Years and decades of stigma take their toll. All of the things you used to think about yourself in order to maintain your self-worth begin to crumble under the onslaught of other people’s stigma—until you begin to accept it as part of who you are. I used to believe that I was a failure as a person. I used to believe that I was less valuable than other people. I did believe I was functionally ineffective. I used to believe that I was weak and that if I just pushed through the pain, it would be better for everyone.
It took a long time for me to realize that all of the negativity I absorbed had an impact on how I perceived myself. Well, it destroyed my self-esteem. And, combined with the constant assault of pain and the lack of hope in any effective treatment, that lack of self-worth sinks you into a deep depression.
I’m not sure, I didn’t get very far trying to exist in a world that expected me to push through my pain and act normal. It felt like I was hitting my head against a brick wall. I could pretend for a while. Mantra: “Fake it ’til you make it.” But then I couldn’t, and I’d crash and burn. Then I’d stand up, shake it off, and try again. And so on. And so on. It was truly terrifying. You’d think society and the medical community would be better at pain management than that. Most of the time, they just leave it up to you. Work it out… Take care of yourself, meditate on it, take some vitamins or something, try some alternative remedies… because we don’t have anything, man.
I am now on disability as a result of the combination of my medical conditions. But I was never because of the migraine disease, which I find strange. Because the chronic migraine disease made life unbearable when I had to push myself like that. But no one gave a hoot about it. Because the insurance companies and certain medical professionals were not viewed as disabled. It made me suicidal and nearly killed me… but, yeah, whatever, it’s not disabling. Perhaps they should try it on every day for a couple of decades and see how it fits them.
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